The Institute for Kindergarten protection has discovered Simon Cowell dripping his nob cheese into a four year olds eye-ball. Cowell apparently mimics the ‘chu-chu’ sounds of a train as he slaps his cock around the young girl’s face, asking her to show him ‘the respect he deserves’. This is Cowell’s second offence in as many hours.
Cowell recently embarked on an RSPCC initiative to do a sponsored music vocal training course at various nursery and primary schools around the UK. His first week in Bristol saw Cowell, now a fat ageing cunt, to shove celery up his bottom and have the disabled kid eat it for his lunch. Cowell has also offered personal donations to Leed’s Primary school’s milk scheme. Most concerned feel this may be the last nail in the Cowell coffin, with friends and foe alike proclaiming he is finished in entertainment. Cowell says he ‘will continue to buttress the love of Jim Bowen’, the WIgan comedian found rimming Cowell as a teenager in Luton.
Cowell’s spat with the Irish fuckmonkey Louis ‘arsepipe’ Walsh led to his extraordinary and infamous schism over last year’s Pop Idol winner. Seventeen stone, black, lesbian and with only one boob, the Amazonian -esque Pippa Potamus, 9, Mozambique was accused of being the benficiary of positive discrimination- particularly for her winning soundless war dance which draw such heavy plaudits form Walsh- causing the cunt to utter the now immortal words in his defence of his support for Pippa; ‘i like the fat birds, i’m sorry, i just really like the fat birds.
Whenasked about Cowell’s latest stint in the classroom, cockmuncher Walsh, with penis spilling over into his beloved Guinness pint and with a strage smile spread across his face declared Cowell enjoyed ‘so much bum love with infants he had become a major cause of global warming in the south of England’
Walsh himslef denies claims of peadophiolia, made last year during his own ‘fit kinds’ programme last year. Walsh, however, does concede he was the one shown on the CCTV cameras with the balaclava in the playground. In court Walsh had argued vehemently it was cold and he a had a massive spot on his face, he also claims, later dismissed in court, that his pants were too big for him. The erection, considered coincidental to the brutal assault with the chainsaw was ‘like a rudder for my swings, i came only through my virtouso handling of the rotating swordfish and its dastardly gnashing teeth, it was really exciting. Chainsaws and kids, who wouldn’t splash a few drops of man love to that old chestnut’. Walsh later ammended his defence, claiming the victim ran face first in his penis and the impact caused instant ejaculation.
For Cowell the horizon now looks bleak. Rejecting the accusation’s over his recent debacle in Bangkok, Cowell affirms he is still on the search for that elusive x-Factor child. Baby Idol continues next week with a special feature on child racism by Trevor McDonald, showing us all how it’s properly done as he abuses honkies for their hairstyles.
Discopogoforpunksinpumps Weblog 